Killing Him Loudly: Part 2

Killing Him Loudly: Part 2

This game’s difficulty is growing exponentially for me and is making me remember that science has never been my friend.

I grew up with puzzles. I had loads of workbooks and puzzle anthologies that I would sit with for hours. I would connect all of the dots, fill in all of the numbers, and solve all of the word searches–that’s my expertise. What isn’t seems to be real-time execution of solutions. Kill the Bad Guy has made me remember that physics-based puzzles are by no means where my talents lie. The only ones I ever managed to play with any competency were the flash games where the number of solutions were limited, and I usually quit if the mechanics or levels opened up. Also seems like a relevant time to mention that Angry Birds can kiss my ass.

There was one level where the best solution was simple–saw down a tree and wait for the perfect time to push it onto the bad guy. I think I spend a half hour on this level trying to time this perfectly and started to think that maybe I was doing it the wrong way. A video walkthrough just showed me what I had thought I was doing, only a millisecond off. It took a dozen more tries to get it correct. This is a game where hints, cheats, and walkthroughs are useless after a certain point because you still have to be able to execute it perfectly.

It also gets more difficult because after ten levels, stealth becomes more a factor. So much for my “quick and dirty” approach from last week. Here you have to take security cameras, policemen, and innocent bystanders into account. The game will sometimes give you twenty different objects to associate and use for assassination, but only a few can be utilized without detection; even fewer leave civilians unscathed. There’s a machine in some levels that–for reasons that cannot possibly comply with the city’s code–shoot ninja stars at your discretion once it is powered up. More time than I can count has it flown out at top speed, decapitated my target, and then slain a police officer. You’d think the solid impact of a person’s neck would slow it down a little. But then again, me and science don’t always agree.

The riddles have become more obtuse for more reasons than one. A few examples, if you will:

“It’s thanks to him that I got this job. Sent him my full appreciation!”

Here is a secondary objective that I completed but cannot figure out why. I killed him by blowing open a man hole with a geyser, sending him flying. Now that is the only way I saw to kill him, meaning I don’t know why that would be the answer to the puzzle. My only rationalization was that I made him “full” with water, but that contradicts my previous statement. If anyone out there knows about this level, please let me know before I get dizzy from the circles I’m running in over it. This is one that is so vague it is hard to relate it any way to the level’s environment, making it a lucky guess like I did.

And another one:

“That one deserved the electric chair for sleeping with my mom!”

Now this one was obvious after observing the level–there’s a wire and a fire hydrant which means electrocution–but it was next to impossible to kill him this way. The straightforward method was to kill him with a sabotaged parked car. This one is more difficult in another way–easy to figure, hard to complete. You had to reroute him for him to go anywhere near the water and placing the blockade a millimeter too far to the left and he walks around it. It is unpredictable when he will act like a normal human being and when he will act like a Sim. Either he realizes that a dirty dinner plate can never fully block your path or you stand there until you piss yourself and die.

And one last one?

“A real killer doesn’t set himself any limits.”

This example is a whole new kind of objective. These have nothing to do with the murder. It is a separate task that needs to be done in conjunction with setting up the perfect crime. In this level, there were a few blockades around the town that needed to be moved–that’s it. But it took me a few tries to realize that this one had nothing to do with the way of killing.

Now I was planning on finishing this game this weekend, but with the increasingly difficult levels and thirty more to go, it’s going to take me a couple more days to do. Stay tuned!

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