A Look At the Mirror’s Edge Catalyst Beta

A Look At the Mirror’s Edge Catalyst Beta

At some point in time, I registered for the closed beta for EA’s upcoming Mirror’s Edge Catalyst and then promptly forgot about it. Therefore I was surprised to find my access code in my email last Friday morning. After entering that code Saturday morning (okay, afternoon) with my cup of coffee, my weekend disappeared.

After playing the first Mirror’s Edge last summer, I was salivating for a sequel. It was hard to imagine having to wait nearly a decade for any new parkour endeavors. The first game only dipped its shock-conducing tennis shoe soles into its dystopian world and felt more like an experiment than a full-fledged idea. With nine years to ruminate and rethink Catalyst is everything I wanted from the inaugural title—at least from what I could tell from the beta.

The beta had the first four main missions and any available side missions, upgrades, and collectibles. It’s clear from the start that Catalyst suffers from the early stages of today’s open-world epidemic. While Mirror’s Edge had linear chapters with a few collectibles in each, Catalyst has a map filled with markers for delivery missions, player-created time trials, and runner bags filled with graffiti decals. Fortunately I’m not sick of open-world games, but if you are, you’ve been warned.

The game opens with Faith’s release from a juvenile detention center run by KrugerSec, a fairly in media res start for a long-awaited sequel. So far there’s no mention of Kate or the dramatic rooftop ending to the first game. After getting her GPS monitor for her parole, Faith gets pulled away by her old runner gang, reinstating her fugitives status only three minutes into her lawful freedom. Now she’s back to running missions to earn scrip and pay back her debts to Dogen.

The three biggest changes in Catalyst are the structure, and the addition of an upgrade tree, and the combat system. Instead of completing each chapter in order, you can complete the main missions at your own pace, choosing to freelance and run deliveries or hack security systems instead. You won’t want to get too far off track because while you earn experience with everything you do, your available upgrades only grow as you progress through the main campaign.

The upgrade tree consists of three categories: movement, combat, and gear. While the latter two are straightforward, the movement tree is frustrating. Most of the options were moves that were available at the start of the first game—rolling, quick turning, and lifting your legs to gain speed. From what I could tell, you unlock these early on, but nothing is earlier than usable in the tutorial.

As for the performance, it ran moderately well on my mid-range PC when I put the settings on low. The main issue I had was a slowdown whenever I started running. In general it was tolerable, but it made some of the more difficult timed delivery missions impossible. Why does the timer start while the environment is still loading in?

Mirror’s Edge Catalyst releases next month, and I can’t wait. To enjoy it fully, definitely make sure our computer can handle it. Platforming takes precision, and that’s hard to do when you fall off the building before the game registers you hit jump.

…or maybe that’s just me.

Stay tuned.

Sunless Sea: Games I Should Have Played

Sunless Sea: Games I Should Have Played

Like most plans on this site, I was going to put together a “Games I wished I’d Played” list. Then I messed it up by going and, well, playing those games. So here is the first of a few belated 2015 reviews.

Now let’s talk about Sunless Sea.

The world and lore in Sunless Sea comes from Failbetter Games’ original title Fallen London. I stumbled upon Fallen London in 2014 when I was waiting on a shunt surgery and was having trouble with any game with lights and movement, i.e. all of them. Fallen London is a free browser roleplaying game that takes place in a dystopian Lovecraftian London. You create a character, talk to people, and go through stories based on choice, RNG, and skill checks. Sunless Sea takes all of this and adds ship combat, survival skills, and cannibalism.

It’s kind of the best.

I’ll start with character creation. You don’t do much. First name your character and pick an avatar. Then pick your ambition; this dictates if you have won the game. Search for your father’s bones, gain riches, or explore the world. Last pick your past. Whether you choose a poet, veteran, or priest, each provides a different initial stat boost.

Stats, you say? Are there skill trees? Experience? Unimaginable wealth?


But your odds improve with RNG. Let’s be honest. Unless you are out sailing, this game plays like a choose-your-own-adventure novel on plutonium. Pick sides in wars between mice and guinea pigs. Sneak human souls past Fallen London’s customs—if you can. Barter with a gorilla mayor. It’s all up to you.

Sunless Sea breaks modern conventions, reinventing older ones instead. All these events happen through text and RNG. Make choices and use stats such as Hearts, Mirrors, and Veils (I know, nothing in this game is normal) to try and succeed. Think a tabletop RPG with less flexibility.

Then you get to the more modern part of the game. To travel from place to place, you captain your upgradable ship around, manned by officers you recruit and supported by crew you hire in Fallen London. Stock the hold with fuel, supplies, and nefarious wares. Your map starts off looking like the cartographer spill ink all over the page, and you must fill it out through exploration and a lot of patience. The ship has two speeds—molasses and maple syrup—and it takes many real world minutes to sail between ports. Fortunately finding each new area is rewarding for several reasons. By discovering new places, you advance the plot, uncover moneymaking opportunities, and find different stories that you use as currency. The people, animals, and creatures at each port are willing to trade goods and information for tidbits from other lands. Traveling lets you learn secrets, find treasure, and slowly discover the details of the world. The only way to win is to keep finding new places to make progress finishing your current ambition.

Now I’ve been keeping something from you. This game is a roguelike, meaning I died three times in my first two hours of playing. To stay alive you must keep your crew fed and your ship fueled. You must avoid getting wounded and keep your ship from getting destroyed. You must survive random encounters such as mutiny and the wrath of the gods. For a game that at its core is a text adventure, Sunless Sea asks a lot of the player’s survival skills and ability to plan and prioritize. If you get caught too far from home waters with a dwindling crew and no fuel or supplies, you better have eleven different back-up plans.

If none of your hopes and dreams pan out and you end up dying at sea, you have a couple of choices to make from the afterlife. If you got far enough in the game to own real estate and write a will, your property transfers to your next captain. There are also several legacies you can leave for your next character depending on what you did in the game. None of these are mutually exclusive. Unlike the legacies, you can only choose one “Warrants of Redemption”. This decides what stats, supplies, and officers roll over to your next playthrough.

Pro tip: always choose the Correspondent warrant. It lets your map roll over all the areas you explored and without having the map randomized the port’s locations. Exploration is painstaking for your first few captains, so it helps ease the pain of death that you will at least know where you are going when travelling the next time around.

Now after all of this talk about death, let’s talk about winning. I’ll be honest. I have played thirty hours of Sunless Sea, and I have yet to win. I came close once, but then there was a mutiny aboard my ship, killing me and sinking my ship. Completing your ambition takes a long time since they all require many hours of sailing. The only way you can end the game without dying is by retiring in Fallen London. If you find your father’s bones or whatever you set out to do and retire, that’s considered a win. If you feel satisfied with a run or are ready to start over, you can still retire; it’s considered a draw. Even if you succeed and complete your ambition but die at sea before retiring, that’s a loss.

So play carefully, win slowly, and die strategically.

Like I said, nothing about this game is normal. Thank goodness.

Stay tuned.

My (Very Short) Games of the Year!

My (Very Short) Games of the Year!

Last time my year-end round-up focused on what HD remakes I had played that year. For me 2014 was more about replaying new versions of old games I played either as a kid or as a teenager. Fortunately I managed to play a grand total of FIVE games from 2015, four of them for PC.

Lucky for me, that means no picking and choosing but instead ranking very single game I played that released this year.

So let’s get it started already.

5. Gravity Ghost

First things first—if you read my review, you know I don’t hate Gravity Ghost. Between the heartwarming/soul crushing story, art style, and relaxing gameplay, I loved the afternoon I spent with it. And by I loved the afternoon, I mean I laid on the floor crying with my dog after finishing.

I also want to make it clear it ranks over many games I played this year. It is only outranked by these.

Damn, I still feel guilty.

This game is perfect for if you are stressed. The physics-based levels are not precise, but watching the swirls of the girl’s white hair and the colorful planets against the twinkling dark sky are entrancing.

The number of levels is perfect too. While so many games this year looked to pack in content of varying degrees of quality, Gravity Ghost curates its short levels down to roughly a hundred short experiences, never overstaying its welcome.

4. Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

When looking back, I will remember 2015 as the year of the Witcher. Since the summer, I have played—and nearly completed—all three games in the series. This year I got invested in the characters, lore, and politics of Temeria and the Nilfgaardian empire.

So why number four?

Once again I enjoyed others more. Though I had fun the entire way through, the Witcher 3‘s main plot was not paced as well as its predecessors. Without spoiling anything, Witcher 3‘s second and third act could have easily been combined. Even more confusing, the first act somehow consisted of three separate story arcs. My English major sensibilities of the traditional dramatic structure and five acts plays are seriously shaken by this.

With a game that takes a minimum of eighty hours to finish—and that’s with barely exploring the map—it must have a logical pacing to propel the player forward. So while I enjoyed nearly everything about it, the way it drug on in the second half killed it for me.

Also I am an insensitive prick with no understanding of human emotion who ended up alone despite romancing Triss for three games straight.

3. Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate

The one title not on PC, but it released this year in North America and took up a lot of time.

Fun story first: Over the summer, I was visiting my parents with my then seven month old and newly adopted puppy Remy, I was running errands and didn’t have his kennel with me, so I left him in my childhood room alone for a couple hours without thinking about the 3DS I left on the charger.

I came back to find carnage. Remy ate the charger first, pulling the 3DS free in the process. Then he pulled my Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate cartridge free and chewed it to bits. Then he spent the rest of his time nibbling at the plastic around the game slot.

And that’s how my dog killed more monsters in two hours than I did in a hundred.

Anyway this was my first Monster Hunter game, and it was the perfect place to start. Whenever in combat, I rarely think strategically, but Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate forced me to. Every weapon and monster means you must fight a different way, and if you aren’t efficient and don’t focus on offense and defense, you will just die. It was a great game and a learning experience.

Now my boyfriend always complains that I refuse to play multiplayer, I might have to soon. Since getting my new copy, I have yet to hunt a single monster.

Maybe I’ll need his help now.

2. Dying Light

One of my top choices for superpowers is to parkour like runners in Mirror’s Edge or, in this case, Dying Light

As my first zombie game, it did not disappoint, but the movement system is what won me over. The closest I will ever come to flying is scaling city buildings in record time using my brute strength.

What I appreciated most was how well the game rationalized its apocalypse:

  • The zombie virus broke out at the Olympics, explaining the speed with which it spread, and the number and diversity of both zombies and survivors.
  • Because of the athletic nature of the event, it also explains how so many people are capable of the feats displayed in the game.
  • The area is in quarantine, meaning the rest of the world is not infected, but there is a temporary cure that holds off the virus if you take regular doses.

Basically it wins the logic versus mechanics award of the year, and in a medium where you must suspend your disbelief and more than I wish, I appreciate the sense Dying Light makes.

And the winner is…

Remy the Monster Hunter!


Just kidding, it’s Her Story

And I know, I know. I chose an indie darling. Sue me.

But don’t because I’m super broke.

Her Story has stuck with me. I still vividly remember when and where I was when I played it on release after counting down the days until its release. My nana had died the week before, and I was at my boyfriend’s parent’s house in their living room alone. I sat at their table, pretending I was a detective.

It wins the award for being the only game I played by myself this year without Netflix playing in the background.

If you argue it’s not a game, you’re silly because it has a clear win state and a database to complete. But honestly, I also appreciate pleasant discourse, so feel free to comment what you think.

I love its disjointed narrative and how what it’s about is still debated to this day.

I love the slow reveal of who you’re playing as in the game.

I love the silly nineties desktop user interface, complete with the glare that comes from the old rounded monitors.

I love how something so simple conceptually could feel so big to me.

I love it all.

Next up: The games I wish I had played in 2015.

Stay tuned.

The Renesmee of Item Shops: Recettear Review

The Renesmee of Item Shops: Recettear Review

After my long break while I attempted NaNoWriMo and fell eighteen thousand words short with a game-ending illness on Thanksgiving, here I am back with a new review while I put off gathering my Game of the Year thoughts.

Recettear is a hybrid between a dungeon crawler, a management game, and a roguelike as well as a bitch to spell. Recette is the daughter of an item shop owner who decides to go out on an adventure and never returns—you know, like all responsible single parents. She mopes alone until the item shop’s proprietor, Tear, shows up and demands payment. After realizing the situation at hand, Tear helps Recette open the item shop back up in hopes of getting Recette back on her feet and getting her money back. Recette must make weekly payments on time or Tear shuts the whole place down.

As for the name? It it literally Recette and Tear mushed together like an impossible-to-pronounce sandwich. It’s Twilight all over again.

Recettear falls across multiple genres while still playing from the perspective of the unsung hero of RPGs—the merchant who buys and sells all the random stuff you need. First you must manage the item shop, setting prices, haggling, and mastering the buy-low and sell-high philosophy. As you gain experience and your merchant level grows, you can take orders ahead of time and buy items from customers.You can purchase items from the guilds in town if your stock is running low, or tag along with an adventurer to pick up treasure.

That’s where the dungeon crawling comes in. In this town, adventurers give their cards to merchants, vowing to give their loot to them after finishing a dungeon. You get to play as them though, enjoying classic hack ‘n slash combat as a break from the business world.

As for the roguelike elements, if you don’t make your payments to Tear on time, the game resets, putting you back at day one. Fortunately your merchant level and inventory persist, making it easier to make the earlier payments each time.

I could never figure out whether Recettear’s difficulty had more to do with chance or skill. Because of supply and demand, items sometimes sell for either triple or a third of their normal price, meaning you can make a week’s worth of profits in a day or go broke before the end of the week. I found myself reloading old saves repeatedly, trying new strategies for each week I failed. Unfortunately the price changes are not set but instead randomized, meaning you can never count on the same circumstances twice.

One part of the game irritated me more than any other: the customers. Not all of them, of course, but this small game only has a few customers. You have the old man who thinks you’re ripping him off, the little girl who thinks your prices are unfair, the dithering husband sent by his wife, and the housewife whose rebelling against your prices. While clearly a way of saving time on character models, they still all haggle the same. If you have a day where your only customers are little girls, there is a good chance your day will end at a loss. If the old man spends all day shouting “Make it cheaper, girlie!”, you might voluntarily close your shop down.

Overall, Recettear is loads of fun, even if the odds don’t always go your way. (I almost made an “odds be ever in your favor” Hunger Games joke there, but I refrained. You’re welcome.) If you want relaxing dungeon crawls and a nerve-wracking management in your life, this is the only way to go.

Stay tuned.

I Need to Stop Wishing for a Happy New Year

I Need to Stop Wishing for a Happy New Year

Lately I spend December with one thought: I can’t wait for this year to end. This isn’t the first time that’s happened either. More often than not, my years alternate sickness, loss, and heartbreak, and it’s all I can see when looking back, no matter the good sprinkled in.

Last year I found myself wishing for that ball to drop more than any other before. After experiencing the loss of a friend for the first time, back-to-back brain surgeries, and facing the cold water of adulthood, I needed the change a new year promised.

The only problem? Here I am in colder weather again feeling the same way. Another death in the family, more sickness, more reality, and I want to will my twenty-third year away as much as I did my twenty-second.

I know I don’t keep resolutions. The closest I came was when I said I would lose ten pounds and then got food poisoning on New Year’s Eve. So instead of false promises and empty hope, I’m aiming for one thing: perspective.

I deal a lot with an abomination of survivor’s guilt. My medical conditions aren’t as bad as other people I know, I have plenty of support, and I’ve never had to face my mortality. I also tend to take up the role of the strong one when it comes to my suffering—some might call it martyrdom. I feel weight where I shouldn’t, and that needs to change.

So take the pledge with me. Having a rough year doesn’t mean you wish it away any sooner. It might take another bad year before things turn around, but it will eventually build the foundation for a better future. It did a decade ago when I went through the same constant pain, so why can’t it again, right?

Stay tuned.

The Evolution of the Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

The Evolution of the Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

Fun fact: I was hoping to do a review on the game soon, but considering I’ve been playing eighty hours and I’m still not done with the first act, that clearly isn’t happening any time soon. Bless the hearts of anyone who reviewed this at release because I can’t imagine rushing this game. So far the scaling makes it possible to mainline the story quests, but why would you want to? Most of the character interactions and quest variety is in the details.

Like Assassin of Kings, Wild Hunt made a lot of effort to revamp a lot of aspects of the series. Some revert back to the original title, some meld both its predecessors, and some are all its own. Let’s go ahead and break it down.

This title adds in some missing open world concepts and basic logic. Players get a comprehensive world map with no limitations on travel. No long do you fail quests just for not finishing them in an unspecified time limit. So far quests tied to characters remain active–even after they leave the current area. With the increase in content, that’s appreciated. I could barely make sense of the proper order to finish quests in the previous titles; there’s no way I could do it now.

With these new, sprawling maps, you can fast travel. With the confined spaces and joy of exploration in the first two, I didn’t mind. But here the maps are so big that more of your time playing would consist of backtracking than anything else. You have to walk or ride your horse until you unlock an area’s signpost.

Same goes for searching all the question marks on the map. It feels like the game was jumbo-sized to offset this new convenience. I love it. I’ll fast travel to a nearby village or mountainside and clear out all the monster nests, abandoned sites, and hidden treasure.

Now that I’m done acting like the first person to ever play an open world game, let’s get to the systems that are constants in the series: alchemy, inventory, and combat.


The alchemy system is an odd one. It harks back to needing a strong alcohol base to make everything, but you only need to make bombs, blade oils, and potions once. After using the materials the first time, you’re given three to five uses depending on the recipes–normal, enhanced, and superior, respectively–and once these run out, you must meditate. If you still have alcohol in your inventory, the system replenishes your used items. It’s odd because I feel like I have better access to alchemy materials now that I don’t need as many.

You do have recipes for exhaustible items, but they are mainly for magical alchemy ingredients and some alcohol bases. It’s a weird circle, but I enjoy it. I get a big thrill from finally tracking down everything necessary for a new kind of bomb or a manuscript page for an upgraded potion.


Now the inventory system is the love child of the first two in the series. The beautiful grid system is back, letting you better visualize what’s in your pockets. But you have unlimited slots, your capacity limited by the weight of the items instead–just like the second. You can carry more by using upgraded saddlebags, a weird one logically but is still useful. Still, I like it even with the weight component.


Now the combat is WONDERFUL–even with the group style still not making a comeback. You have your normal signs, fast and strong attacks, and wheel of doom a.k.a where you keep all the bombs. You can finally drink potions with a button press again, and you can use a crossbow to auto-target flying enemies. Dodging only takes two key presses in the direction you want to go. Honestly it is not all that different from the second game’s combat, but the few tweaks make it smoother and simpler.

An important PSA: only attempt to steal while breaking and entering. The guys won’t stop you from entering strange houses, but don’t you d are rifle through barrels in plain daylight. Finally the Witcher has added some logic to its looting. If a guard sees you pilfer a bottle of dwarven spirit, he will rain down his axe, but guards and home and store owners don’t mind you clearing out their entire inventory of broken oars and silver platters.

Also I hate water levels, just so you know.

Stay tuned.

Steam Complete: Mistakes I’ve Made Along the Way

Steam Complete: Mistakes I’ve Made Along the Way

So one hundred posts and over a year later, I’m still here, playing and writing with some regularity. I’ve enjoyed having an outlet for consistent content and something to force me to keep writing even on the worst of days. With that said, I’ve made a few bad choices since starting this blog, ones that might have set myself on a different trajectory if I’d had some foresight and avoided them. So don’t learn from your mistakes, learn from mine, and listen up:

  1. Consistency. It’s the number one rule for any kind of web content. If your readers or viewers can’t depend on your content, you’ll lose your audience. Knowing this, I started off strong, keeping to my Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule. I made plans and scheduled my play time around my need to post these three days. Even working overtime at my full-time job, I managed. But my chronic conditions and transfer to a position with more hours left me with my first lapse in content. With that, my view dropped off. After a while I got my groove back only to get so sick I left work, taking another break. THEN after another good period, I took a month off for family reasons with the passing of my nana. After this period, I’ve been going strong doing regular content despite no set schedule. My point in going through my life story over the last year? I have two, and they’re incredibly contradictory. First take care of yourself, and put your health–physical and mental–first. Also write no matter what because consistency breeds a following. I don’t know how to do both, and it has been a detriment. But hey, I’m still here! I picked a rough year of my life to start this blog, but I’m still writing, reviewing, and loving it.
  2. Quantity over quality. This is the way I started off. This started as a way to make me play through the hundred PC games I had. Instead of doing a Let’s Play channel, I was writing them. I talked about weird instances, funny moments, and any glitches I ran into. Regardless of substance, I was pumping them out–also like a Let’s Play channel, har har har. Looking back, I’m a lot more fond of the content I produce now. I might have fewer posts, but I love the reviews. I even did a review stream last month and got a kick out of it.
  3. Self-hosting too soon. About six months into having my blog, I decided to take a step forward, purchase a domain, and convert from wordpress.com to wordpress.org. That basically means you have your own website, but you still have access to the WordPress format for free. I enjoyed the freedom and the professional feel of having my own site. I signed up for Google Adsense, found a layout, and transferred all the previous content. Unfortunately I didn’t do enough research to know what I was going to lose–community. I thought since I was still technically using WordPress, I would still have access to the WP Reader, the place where your posts show up for all of WordPress and your tags actually mean something. I kept my followers but stopped gaining new ones, stopped getting comments from people who just happened upon me through the Reader. My attempts to grow too big too soon cost me, my lack of patience shooting myself in the thigh. I think when my domain runs out in March, I going to acquire it through WordPress so that I can get back to the community it fosters.

Well, there you have it. I celebrate my one hundredth (and one) post by putting everything I did wrong out there. My words of wisdom? Don’t be the me who thought these were good ideas.

Stay tuned.

Witcher 2 Review a.k.a. 100 Post Extravaganza!

Witcher 2 Review a.k.a. 100 Post Extravaganza!

The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings Enhanced Edition is the second in the Witcher game series from CDProjektRed. While it feels like an evolution in many places, a few parts feel like they took a few steps back.


In the sequel, Gerald of Rivia is an adviser to King Foltest when a man with golden eyes–a trademark of a witcher–kills the king and frames our protagonist. You spend the rest of the game looking for answers and trying to clear you name.

Also Geralt has still not recovered all of his memories from the AMNESIAAAAAAA from the first game, but with Triss’ help, he starts having more flashbacks. They still lack some detail and go by so quick that is makes some of his conversations about politics and the surrounding regions hard to follow. It’s not so bad that reading the novels is necessary, but it wouldn’t hurt either. You can still follow the basics of the story without understanding the details though, and if you’re like me, you’ll love the graphic novel style of the depictions of his past. Gerald is one of my favorite game heroes but still remained a mystery until now. It was good seeing his past, and the art style made it great.

The number of decisions you make in the Witcher 2‘s story are fewer but have more impact on the direction of the game. For example who with which you choose to side at the end of the first act gives you two different quest lines for the rest of the game. this adds replay value that many games with similar choice mechanics tend to lack. The Witcher 2 is essentially two separate games with only the beginning and a few boss battles in common.

Other times you make subtle choices. There were a few ultimatums I was unaware I was being presented with. While this is a huge improvement for RPG choice mechanics, my guilty conscience left me replaying one or two later sections to rectify my actions.


I think I’m in the minority here, but despite its low-level of difficulty, I prefer the combat from the first Witcher game. Three words: group style combat. The fast and strong attacks made it to the sequel, but the style geared towards attacking hordes of enemies were cut. In this swordsmanship branch of the character tree are group finishers, but they require you to fill up an adrenaline meter; they act like limit breaks from JRPGs.

Outside of that, it’s not so bad. Parrying and counterattacking–called riposte here–are simpler to do, and blocking in all directions is an ability you can get rough leveling up. Instead of having to select attack styles manually, fast and strong are assigned to the left and right mouse buttons. It’s easier to use items like daggers, traps, and bombs as well as your signs. You select whatever you want from a wheel mid-combat, and you’re good to go.

The difficulty spikes are rough and impossible to predict until late in the game. At the end of each act is a boss battle so hard it feels like you are meant to lose. Once you’re in the midst of the battle, you know what you need to do, but you can’t do it without reloading a previous save. Why? You can’t drink potions and craft the necessary attack items without meditating. No constantly knocking back swallows for vitality regeneration, no using white afford’s decoction when you’re close to death. This one small tweak added all the complexity the first game lacked.

The inventory system was also overhauled. Instead of being accessible from the main game screen, you exit out to a separate one to handle everything. From there, you have unlimited inventory slots but a limited weight. So replacing the rationale that Geralt only has so many pockets but is strong enough to carry whatever he picks up is the Elder Scrolls way of thinking where a single plate leaves you moving like molasses. The first was clunkier but was a nice change from the weight-based system that writes its own jokes. Also the new system has everything broken down into categories, some overlapping. It works decently, but sometimes bugs out if an item fits into multiple categories, especially if it is a quest item. I’d pick something up, and when I went to use it, it was nowhere to be found. I had to go to forums just to navigate the menu. For example you have to use warrior nekker’s blood to break a spell for a quest. I had some but couldn’t find it anywhere in my alchemy screen. Turns out that even though the other ingredients for the quest were found there, this one was only under quest items. These silly issues were headaches that the last system never were.


If there was an aspect of the Witcher 2 that left me more conflicted, it was the quests. Like the Witcher, the quests are divided into chapters and must be completed before continuing to the next. Unlike the first, the chapters are then divided into smaller parts without ever telling the player. Multiple times I failed quests halfway through a chapter for some arbitrary reason that I couldn’t have figured.

Outside of this poor choice, the quests themselves are outstanding the main ones are strong and multi-layered. You never know if what you’re doing and for whom you’re doing it are good in the right, but you know it needs to get done regardless.

The side quests have variety–witcher contracts, investigations, debates in philosophy, and riddle-solving. The intermittent battles and conversations tie these radically disparate adventures together.


Despite much of this sounding like complaining, I loved this game in its entirety. I can’t get enough of the characters, the story, the quests. Even with the changes to the sequel of which I’m not a fan, I can’t recommend this series enough. It’s definitely my favorite Western RPG in a fantasy setting.

Also a favorite game series period.

Stay tuned.

[Note: This being my one hundredth post sort of snuck up on me. I have a list prepared for a certain special and self-deprecating post.]

Why So Braggy?

Why So Braggy?

I’m in the middle of playing through The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings, so my reviews have come to a halt while I fight through the third act. But in my effort to reach this last chunk of the game, one giant draug was in my way. No, that’s not a vague game-related metaphor. The final boss for Act 2 was a draug pumped up on all the steroids in thirteenth-century Poland. He was knocking me down in three blows with an unbelievable variety of melee and ranged attacks. I thought maybe I was missing something obvious. Nothing had been this hard since the beginning of the game, and I couldn’t understand the spike in difficulty. So I went googling and happened upon the most, ahem, modest of people. Here’s what I found (with IDs and usernames redacted to save the embarrassment for the braggarts of long ago, i.e. 2011):

I’m pretty sure potions were a given, kind sir.
Punctuation is even less of a big deal.
“Hit him” doesn’t do much to explain what made it easy for you.

Now before I get raked over the Internet fire about free speech, I know my feelings are completely subjective. Think of this as my wish on a star for people to show a consideration for time and place.

Also for some perspective, I played this boss battle on stream and got so frustrated between the repeated dying and pompous nature of the forums, I quit for the day.

Now that I’ve done some examples, the requisite First Amendment disclaimer, and provided some context, let me now follow all that up with a hypothetical situation.

Say you are in a mixed group of people, some friends, some strangers, and you’re discussing training for an upcoming marathon. You’re having trouble hitting your stride while running long-distance and are looking for advice to help you bridge the gap between you and your fellow runners. After putting your situation out there, three people immediately jump in to tell you that they’ve run like that for years without an issue. No advice, no empathy for when they were struggling, just statements of their own absurd accomplishments like running to the moon.

To even continue the conversation, you’re stuck with an awful choice. You either continue to reiterate how much you suck until you get answer, or you sit there feeling bad for even asking.

Now how does this translate to the Internet? This hypothetical situation sets people up with a clear opportunity to brag a little (or a lot) on themselves. Whether you agree with it or not, you’d expect to get at least one person who can’t stop him or herself from screaming, “AREN’T I GREAT?!”

On the forums pictures above, you have to seek out these opportunities specifically. Not frequent post on even Reddit, forever a lurker, I don’t know often people search on threads on publisher forums, GameFAQs, Steam, and other corners of the web. If you do, comment below because I’m genuinely curious.

But the small sample I pulled for you above lit my blood on fire. I had lost my patience to the point I was googling live on Twitch for something that should be straightforward. Instead of vast amounts of help or suggestions of strategy, I was met with snobbery over Why So Braggy?quick player deaths and difficulty modes.

Maybe it’s my Southern sensibilities, maybe it’s my inability to properly talk about myself.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been met with people’s pomp and circumstance over their own prowess. It’s just the first time I became this incensed over it. I wrote this over the course of a few days, so I could at least write it with a clear head.

TL;DR The time to (humble)brag is not when someone is asking for help. Just answer the question and move on.

Does this get to anyone else? Feel differently? Let me know below!

Next up: The Witcher 2 review!

Stay tuned.

Division of Puzzle Research: Puzzle Agent Series Review

Division of Puzzle Research: Puzzle Agent Series Review

The Puzzle Agent series consists of two games from Telltale stemming from them collaborating with animator Graham Annable that feel like watered-down Professor Layton games.

The series follows FBI agent Nelson Tethers as he investigates the shutdown of eraser factory in Scoggins, Minnesota. If that doesn’t sound odd enough for the federal government, Tethers works in the Puzzle Research division, and one of his co-workers is in the Vegetable Crimes division. With that said, Puzzle Agent is a modern callback to the silliness of the pre-Walking Dead Telltale game. Considering Annable worked on the Sam and Max games, this vibe makes sense, and the understated humor is what motivated me through the slower parts of the game.

Now like I said, the structure is identical to the Professor Layton games. You get straightforward story bits bookending logic puzzles of all sorts. So let’s break it down the same way.

The story is fun and quirky. Tethers is investigating the eraser factory because the ones from Scoggins are the unnamed President’s favorite. The townspeople are fascinated with puzzles and gnomes, unusual and slightly chilling for this small and snowy town. Those little lawn ornaments have never been as creepy as when they start showing up in unlikely places–and not always inanimate.

At best, the story progression is awkward. The dialogue and voice-acting is slow, and though that suits the small town, it’s not necessary. If the scrolling text in the speech bubbles went faster, I could forgive the slower voice overs. It especially doesn’t help that much of the dialogue sets the tone more than it furthers the story, making this molasses-style pace all the more impossible.

Both Puzzle Agent and its sequel feel less like two separate games and more like a two-chapter story, the first act being the first game and the other two in the second. The first ends with zero resolution, and the second ends with way too much.

Still I enjoyed the characters and the writing, my problems lying mainly with the chosen delivery method.

Now the puzzles were great though the game’s interface for them was a frustrating miss. You get your jigsaws, your ordering events, your who-ate-what dinner parties, your birds smuggling gnomes–all your average puzzle game offerings. They are all fun though sometimes so easy you don’t realize the obvious answer. Other times you can’t figure it out because the puzzle is vaguely worded.

This is the only time I feel it’s necessary to talk about the two games separately instead of as a unit. The first Puzzle Agent‘s puzzles are perfect. At no point were they unfair or poorly worded. Any time I got stuck or second-guessed myself, it was my fault. All you needed was the information the game gave you, your brain, and maybe a piece of paper if your spatial reasoning skills are shit like mine. After these great puzzles, the second game has a poor choice of words and insists you know concepts like binary code, astronomy, and calculus. Seriously, I only made it through one of the game’s puzzles because I knew dx comes after an integral sign, and googling binary code for the number four.

The frustrating thing both puzzles had in common though was their awful choice of an interface. At no point can you see both the rules and the solving area. If you’re solving a logic puzzle with five constraints, you better write those down or be okay with constantly flipping between the two screens. I used so much scrap computer paper to save on this. You solve the puzzles in a manila envelope, so it wouldn’t be hard to fathom you putting multiple pieces of paper beside each other. Ugh.

Overall, I don’t think these were great puzzle games, but they were a nice way of packaging some fun logic puzzles. Instead of feeling like a fleshed-game despite so few mechanics like the Professor Layton series manages every time, Puzzle Agent and Puzzle Agent 2 manage to make you cross your fingers you’re about to run into another puzzle before you’re bored or the game crashes.

Stay tuned.